today i am in the city, cape town, my birth town, and the place i grew up in... so i guess it is the
place that shaped me, my first experiences and ideas of life were here, in cape town...

latley, if you have been following my blog, you will see alot of questioning... alot of thinking...
last night when i spoke to a friend, he said, "dont talk, do... "

today i sat near a canal, at a kinda crazy shopping centre called "canal walk..." i saw a duck sitting
on the side of the water... and i never realised before that ducks have funny little tongues, that
they can stick out... wow... for some reason that random fact stayed in my mind...

i then saw alot of images around me, but i had no camera with me... i thought about how, before
when i first started photography, everything had to be caught on film... and so at that stage, 10
years ago or so, i stopped taking pictures, cause it was a pressure, i had to catch everything,
nothing could just be a memory...

i went overseas, and ended up mostly in isreal, just to get away, to see and experience something
new... i remember getting a simple 2dollar camera for free, with my milk shake powder, and
finding it alot of fun to just take very cheap shots... i was getting free from the idea that
everything had to be an image...

i remember when i was in switzerland, 2 years after starting my journey, i had no camera, and it
did not bother me at all... i thought, if i want to show people things, i can look in a book or find
an old postcard... it made me happy to finally be free, from that pressure i gave myself...

now that i start shooting alot, and trying to get deeper into image capturing, i discover a slight
frustration returning... so this became my challenge... that this time, i must work thru it, find a
way to cope with it...

i also noticed, that because of my changes over the last years... and becuase of my break from
photography, and realisations about photography, i have less of these moments... it is easier
for me now, to seperate... to say this is a moment im just gonna enjoy, and this is moment im
gonna record on film (or atleast laptop)...

i have realised that photography gives me a goal... its a creative form that i enjoy, and have
somehow always been attracted to... all creative forms of expression will have ups and downs...
thats the nature of creative expression... there are very few artists, that dont go thru extreme
moods, this is the nature of the game... and so i realise, that these frustrations and complications
are something i need to face to follow my dream, and express myself in a way that suits me and
fulfils me... (thats second last word might be incorectly spelt, its looks wierd...)

i learnt that you dont have to always be the person looking in, you can also sometimes be, the
person inside... (if that makes sense...) and that was something i often struggled with before...
cause as a photography you always have a ticket to view, so somehow, although you are
involved, you are an outsider... but i have learnt that thats also a mindset... its all how you see it,
how you relate with people... there can be a balnce, the see'er, the doer, the capturer, etc...

so latley i ask myself the question... "can photography save my soul...?" (or atleast a part of it...)
(i will end there with that contemplation...)

the pictures above, are from a hike to a "san bushman" rock art site in the drakensberg... the san
bushman, are the indiginous peoples of southern africa... the oldest painting's in drakensberg go
back 8000 years, and people say the art above, could be 2000 years old... for me, the age is not
so improtant, but the fact that these painting's were done by a group of hunter/gatherer people,
who have not lived in this area for more than 130 years...

to imagine, these people living here, painting here, doing trance dance here... crazy... what a
different world... what a different way... the painting's are believed to have been done after a
trance dance... they would hyper ventilate, leave the body, and go into the spiritual world, and
there they could heal people, ask for rain, see the future, etc... then on later, the shamans would
paint these records on the rock, because the rock was seen as the face to the spiritual world...

ok, i could elaberate on the "bushman" culture, but im gonna leave it there... any questions, dont
be scared to ask... ok...?