in search of a suitable reality.

thought number 1.

sometimes, we need to let go.
we need to not only think of ourselfs.
and realise.
that even though the one we wish could be in our arms,
may not be happy or willing to be a close part of our lives.
but atleast they are happy with someone else.
in someone elses arms.
and we need to be happy, for there happyness.

thought number 2.

jus because you are western, jus because you are from a
developed country does not mean you always know,
what is best for other people, from different circumstances.

in search of a suitable reality.

this picture was on my fan page on 17 november.

this was captured at a funeral, my little friend having some fun.

this pic below, was seriuosly about 5 to 10minutes later, no jokes.
he was obviuosly pretty warn out, by all the activities of the day.

this picture also featured on my blog last october.

in search of a suitable reality.

on the 14th of december, last year, i posted this picture on my fan page,
entitled "granny".

somehow, i personally love this picture. for me its possibly more special,
than for the viewers, as this picture just captured the whole moment.

myself, qamo (a fellow tour guide) and 2 guests, were sitting in a rondavel, talking and taking photo's. this lady was jus smiling, and posing, and then somehow she pulled this face. it was intense. qamo, asked me to show him the picture, cause it was jus insane, freaky and magical at the same time.

for me its also special, because it is a "granny". but not a "granny" in the way you would imagine a "granny"

enough personal ramblings.

in search of a suitable reality.

2 thoughts from a sunday in cape town.

thought 1.

cape town, the cup cake capital.

i have refused to give into to this trend, and buy/eat a cup cake, even though i know, that

sometimes, those shiny pink and blue colours, and special decorations, to make me "lus" for

one. refusing to give in.

thought 2.

i stood outside cavendish square mall, and listened to a man play south american, and native american style flute, to some back muic, and got totally whisked away into another world.

made me think of travel, experiencing cultures, and how many,"flipping", realities there are in this small world.

in search of a suitable reality.

6 months today.

learning to live with, the lose of a loved one, a close one.

the time that heals, the time that hurts.

it seems to come in waves, waves of strength, and waves of complete depression and lose and memories.

sometimes, the idea, to live my life for the one who left. to live each moment, with no regret and the learning from there life.

othertimes, the memories and haunting is so heavy, i have no motivation to live at all.

this is a process, this is life.

accepting death, accepting life.

it is a reality, something unavoidable. more garaunteed than having children, than getting a good job, than finding the most incredible woman, than most things in life. yet, it still kicks us when we down.

life is beautifull, life is sweet ,life is sour, life is life. we need to live it.

(a bunch of random thoughts, on this day 19th feb 2011.)

in search of a suitable history.

finally, since i now own a copy of this book, i can
read a book i have been meaning to read forever.

its written by, and about, the photographers who
lived and died, covering the political actions, of the
90's in south africa.

one of the authors, joao silva, was recently badly
injured while shooting in a land mine area. He was
still shooting pics, after he got injured, and leter had
to have an amputation of both legs as far as know.

him, and the guys who worked in this time, are legends.

article about joao silva and another article written by his friend, greg marinovich, who co wrote
"the bang-bang club" with him

in search of a suitable heritage.

so, in an attempt to undertsand who i am, i try to enjoy and get a connection with
the different foods, colours and flavours of my country.

i really am proud of koeksisters, but alot of people, especially foriegners, find them
way to sweet. get one, and try one, and taste the flavours of my land.

this is what wikipedia says, this is the "afrikaaner" version, very sweet.

A koeksister or koesister comes from the Dutch word koekje, the diminutive of koek meaning "cake". It is a South African syrup-coated doughnut in a twisted or braided shape (like a plait). It is prepared by deep-frying dough in oil, then dipping the fried dough into cold sugar syrup. They are best eaten cold, koeksisters are very sticky and sweet and taste like honey.

Koeksisters are of the Cape Malay origin. The Afrikaner version is much more syrupy and crispy while the Cape Malay version's texture is more like that of a cake, spicier, and usually covered in dried coconut. There is also a difference in spelling, the latter generally referred to as koesister.

in search of a suitable reality.

full moon rising over the "mother" city.

in search of a suitable reality

everyday is a day to love the ones you love, but today i wish you
all a sweet, cheesy, romantic, warm and "awesome-tastic" valentines day.

may you all feel sweet and loved, today and always.

in search of a suitable reality.

two random thoughts, one inspired by memories of a former lover, and the other inspired by brushing my teeth.

thought 1.

so, while on my overnight trip, i was thinking alot about how, if you loved someone you will probably love them forever. a movie i love, "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", comes into mind when i think of this. the idea, that you cannot erase the ones you love, and this makes sense. there was a reason you were attracted, or pushed or pulled into there arms and heart, and so it does not just vanish.

thought 2.

while brushing my teeth tonight, i thought of the idea "waiting for a miracle". how, i feel as if i am waiting for someone to call from the blue, to rescue me, to save me. like, wondering what comments i will receive on photo's, someone coming up with an idea for me to improve my existence, or someone to push me in a direction when things happen, instead of pushing myself in that direction.

in search of a suitable reality.

in search of a suitable reality.

in search of a suitable reality.

in search of a suitable reality.

in search of a suitable reality.

mother and daughter bond.

the beauty in the maternal emotions.

in search of a suitable reality

if it is very dry, then rainbows are not a nice sight, because they
show that the rain is finished, but this rainbow comes after weeks
and weeks of rain.

in search of a suitable reality.

here is a picture containing 2 objects that make me smile. little timber (minitjie), and
my glowing blue keyboard. lol.

in search of a suitable reality.

so, the end of 2010 and start of 2011 have been a little dark and bit
difficult for me to grasp.

as anyone following this blog will notice, i have been pretty far. pretty
far from writing, or posting anything. not even anything dark has hit this blog
for ages, nothing, nothing at all.

so now, i look thru some of pics from december 2010, and i put up this one.
it was jus before i got alittle ill, and prehaps from a virus picked up
in this household (there were alot of ill people around). but it could of actually
been anything.

so i start this years post, with the phrase,
"in search of a suitable reality"

and since i have been so quite, i also wish everyone on here
a happy new year, an awesome xmas that passed and that this year ahead is
full of amazement and awesomeness for all of you.

thanks for following my blog.